lil' Christopher

Yesterday morning, on the way to drop lil' Chris off at school, he begins to ask me what is next after Kindergarten, then 5th, then Junior high, and High school. "When I go to college, are we still going to live here?" he asked I made the mistake of telling him that we will be in another state and he may even be living in his own home because he will be a BIG boy by then. All of a sudden, within seconds, I look in the rear view mirror to see him wiping his eyes. "What's wrong, Mijito. Why are you upset?" I asked, knowing right away that I had put my foot in my mouth. He began to explain, "When I go to college I won't be able to see you anymore, I will miss you!" No matter what I said to explain and try to mend the situation, it was no use. I tried my hardest to fix what I had done in the 2 minutes we had together before he had to get out of the car. But it was apparent that he was going to have a "sad" morning. I felt so bad. When I picked him up that afternoon he seemed to had forgotten the conversation so I let it be. After we said our prayers and put the kids to bed, I passed by his door once more and he called out for me. I knew by the tone that he had been crying again. "I don't want you to die. I will miss you, why do you have to die, Why do we die?" Oh My Gosh! Here we go.... I turned on his light, sat him on my lap and began to explain the Plan of Salvation, the wonderful blessings of temples and how blessed we were to be sealed to each other as a family. I explained how we will ALWAYS be together, how we would be able to return to heaven and live with Heavenly Father. This was all stuff he had heard before but it needed to be personalized now more than ever. He understood, but still was upset. He then snapped back, "I don't want to go to heaven; I will miss all of my toys and my room, and my bike...." So I began to embellish in anyway possible to make things better for him, "Heaven will have toys too, and everything you would ever want to make you happy. And you will never fall and get hurt again because fluffy clouds will protect you from getting hurt!" (that was the best part since this boy is forever falling and hurting himself!) Just when I thought it was over... "I don't want to die. It's going to hurt! How will it feel, Mommy? Will I be crying?" UH! It took everything I had to fight the tears. After much comforting and convincing I finally got him to stop crying. He was still sad when I left the room, but he told me he was ok and would go to sleep. My poor baby! He's so sensitive! When I told big Chris' later about the conversation he said he used to do the same thing to his mom when he was young. I guess it just shows how intelligent he is, to be thinking so far ahead, in such detail about things. I just hope it doesn't consume him. I went to bed last night feeling 2 different things; blessed to understand God's plan for us, and relieved that conversation was over!